“I used to think my problem was confidence, but it didn’t feel like “I’m shy.” It felt more like… I was always a little bit wrong. Like even when nothing was happening, my brain was already defending me.

If someone looked at me in a certain way, I’d go home and replay it. If I sent a message, I’d reread it three times and then still feel stupid. In meetings I’d have an idea and then I’d soften it, add “maybe” or “I’m not sure,” just in case. I hate admitting that, but yeah.

And it’s exhausting because it’s not one big dramatic moment. It’s a hundred tiny moments that keep telling you “careful.”

The weird part is I didn’t notice how much it was controlling my life until I tried to stop and couldn’t. Like telling yourself “just relax” and your body basically laughs.

What changed for me wasn’t that I became some fearless person. It was more like that constant “brace yourself” feeling calmed down. I don’t walk around waiting to be corrected anymore. I can still get nervous sometimes, obviously, but it doesn’t turn into that whole spiral where I feel small for hours.

The biggest difference is I don’t need to prove I’m okay. I just… feel okay. And that’s a new feeling for me.“